Returning to fertility after the Depo Provera shot

So, I knew that Depo Provera injection for birth control had its risks. Not just the range of severe side effects (weight gain, breast tenderness, moodiness, bloating, IBS effects, etc) but the fact it can take twice as long as other types of birth control to return to ovulation and fertility. At the time, it seemed an acceptable option as I was looking at the recommendation (or some might call it strong-arming) of the crack perinatologist team that wanted me to get a tubal ligation.

Now that I have the amazing news from my cardiologist that he supports my efforts to TTC, I’m researching what it means to attempt pregnancy after Depo Provera. From most information I read, the minimum time to return to fertility after Depo Provera may be 55 days (about 2 months) but most agree that the expected time would be around 6 months. See Web MD Blog and Society for Menstrual CycleResearch  (See Justisse Method: Fertility Awareness and Body Literacy A User's Guide (Volume 1) for their take on Natural Family Planning)

Based on most information, since Depo Provera works two ways to prevent pregnancy, thickening the cervical fluid and thinning the lining of the uterus. See this BabyMed.com article.

What does it mean when your cycle is messed up?

That is what I ask myself. Yes, cycle's change. You can have a consistent pattern six cycles in a row, and just when you seem to have identified the pattern, it changes. If ONLY for that one cycle. Just to show you that you can't ever be definite when it comes to your body.  I don't know how many times I've seen posts on forums or pregnancy sites claiming that "royal jelly messed up my cycle!" Replace the underlined word with the newest supplement to be touted as the infertility cure. I've seen it said about Soy Isoflavones, Vitex (chasteberry), and any number of other blends or new supplements.

Here is the cold hard truth. These supplements are supposed to make your cycle change. Yeah. I said it.

When something changes that is good, we sigh in relief or jump for joy and think, "Yes! It worked" or something to that effect. When something changes that is not what we were hoping for or expecting, it messed it up or didn't work.  After 3 years of attempting to conceive successfully, I will admit that many (ok, most) of the times that my cycle took a drastic turn, I was moaning and complaining with the rest of my TTC pals. But later, because hindsight is 20/20, I saw how perhaps these changes, although not the immediate miracle I was longing for, these changes are what just might push me towards that happy ending in the form of a healthier cycle.

The first time I tried Royal Jelly, I loathed the increase in PMS symptoms AFTER AF, that made me insanely paranoid that I had actually become pregnant but was having early bleeding. Which when you think about it, isn't a great sign anyway. BUT, one thing I did notice about my flow, was it turned from dark and clotty, to thin, bright red. Almost really EWCM with blood. And from what I've read, a bright red, non-clotty flow is a healthy one. So, although it was inaugurated by some killer cramps, the likes of which I had not seen since my teen years, I took this as a sign I was headed in the right direction.

So to sum up the good things that happened when my cycle "messed up":

1. Healthier, cleaner flow
2. Symptoms more similar to adolescence, which let's face it, are generally more fertile than your 30's . 
3. Lengthening of LP to just around 11-12 consistently. Also, spotting before AF is now negligible, and sometimes absent.

So, I recognized a temp pattern in my early pre-O temps. Around 5-7 days after a "false O" that occurs about the 2nd week of my cycle (CD's 7-12), I get my true O. I have to say what was most frustrating to me was my CBEFM! After 2 lows, I just kept getting Highs. And 3 days after FF gave me cross hairs, still only High! I will say though, that looking at the sticks, they've read closer to lows that I've had in the past. The closest to a Peak was about 3 days before FF said I O'd, where both lines were present, but quite faint. 

Yet, here is my chart today. 

9 days later I get my O. 2 days past the longest stretch between my "false O" and true O. Plus no High on my CBEFM. But as you can see, my clear Fall-back rise pattern, which has only failed me a few times. So I'm sold. Goodbye CBEFM, I might give you ONE more shot next cycle. But did the Bee Fertile "mess up" this cycle? Not really. Because in order to fix something, sometimes you have rebuild it piece by piece. Lay the foundation, shift a few things here, add some things there, and eventually, your building is functioning more effectively. But it takes time, and sometimes it won't work right away. 

Besides, if you read the literature on Bee Fertile, it is not claiming a quick fix. It lets you know that it becomes most effective after 3 cycles. If you get knocked up in cycle 1 or 2, you're just lucky!  I hope I get that luck!

Disclaimer: Although the Bee Fertile supplements were provided to me at no charge, all opinions are my own. Trust me, I 'll give you the good, bad and in-between with an un-varnished eye!

Oops! Some things I missed.

So, I was looking at the spoon provided by Bee Fertile again, and I realized that the small line around the bowl of the spoon, about a 1/4 in from the top was to mark the 1/2 tsp mark, and the full spoon marked the full 1 tsp or 5 ml. I think I mistook 5 ml as equal to 1/2 tsp. So it is an excellent tool if you want to measure 1/2 tsp OR a full tsp. I'll post a similar correction in my Began Bee Fertile post later, but my computer is being borrowed and Blogger doesn't seem to work well on iPhone for editing.

 In other related news, I've noticed some changes to this part of the cycle. I had forgotten that for me, taking Royal jelly can really stabilize my mood, at least in the 1 week between AF ending and the beginning of my LP. Having a mood disorder, I'm so used to having my moods fluctuate greatly, and often with no rhyme or reason. With the Royal Jelly, I find that my mood changes are slower to change and less extreme. Although I have noticed an overpowering sense of nostalgia; any show I watch or song I hear makes me wistful and remember with great strength of emotion and a time when I felt like that in the past. Today it has progressed to a sort of weepiness, although when I am not overcome this way I feel at peace. I don't know if it is all the Royal Jelly contributing; I know Vitex has affected my moods in the past and there are other herbs in the Bee Fertile I haven't tried before.

 Also, very strange and vivid dream last night. I had bought a strange, but bulky, electronic HPT with a screen that showed the result in a pink plus sign. I decided to try it out, and I walked away before it was finished, convinced it would be negative. When I got back, ai found a pretty pink plus sign between 2 bars like this: |+| Then of course I had to verify the BFP since it was outside of the time limit, and I got a positive on the cheapie and a FRER. I knew it was a dream when I saw the dye strobing up the HPT in waves. There was more, but not relevant to most of the dream. Today I am very tired. Also, I have had heartburn since the beginning of this AF. I thought it was a period symptom, but as it is continuing each night, I wonder if it is the Cayenne or another ingredient in Bee Fertile. Time will tell.

 Disclaimer: These supplements were provided to me at no cost, but all opinions are my own.  Believe me, I will give you the good, bad and in-between with an unvarnished eye.

Current cycle status and vitamin regimen

So, since I am not charting, OPKing, or doing really anything to track my cycle most of this is a guesstimate. I would say the only thing I am really doing is marking when my period arrives on my phone's calendar and when it is projected. Since I tend toward 30 day cycles, I am estimating to get my period this cycle on 11/25/11--Thanksgiving, AGAIN. I only hope that it is much less painful than last Thanksgivings. Still, I am about 4 days away from my expected period--still no spotting, but I could still get it as close as 2 days before.

I really am trying not to obsess about my cycles, but when my BBs hurt so much, and I know that I've ovulated....I can't help but wait and wonder. I only keep track of when to expect my period so I can know if it is late. I try not to obsess about whether or not I am...I tend to despair that I will never get pregnant naturally.  I did have some spotting about a week ago for 2-3 days..not much...could have been O-spotting. Time will tell. 

I'm also out of supplements. I need to get my Royal Jelly, B-Complex and Folic Acid replaced. I've been out for awhile. Other than that I'm going back on my Melaleuca Vitality 4 vitamins since when I added that to my regimen last time I had such a long luteal phase. So I really believe in those. 

Hopefully I'll be able to get some soon. 

Royal Jelly Effects and Cycle Changes. *Update at bottom*

So, after about 15 days of Royal Jelly, here is my experience....

As for not necessarily fertility benefits:

• Stable, long-lasting energy. I was getting over sinusitis and left me very tired. The day I started this I started having a stable alertness--not the jittery kind from an energy drink or coffee that goes away in an hour or so, but lasting at least through work.
• Also, a more stable mood. I do have a mood disorder, and have been (and still am) on psych meds since diagnosed. Not once since then have I felt this sort of mood stability....yeah, I might get weepy, stressed, or angry, but what is different is I am able to go right back to center. I now have the ability to calm down without getting derailed for a day or more or coming home and taking it out on DH! Not that it makes me happy per se, but it is like the harness you wear when you are on a climbing wall---if you slip, it's there to keep you from falling too far and hard and maybe help you get back on the wall.
• Appetite suppressant. Normally when I take something with an appetite suppressant (you know we've all tried ONE), it works awesome for the first day or two, but then the effects weaken and I crave food again. This stuff is pretty long lasting. Sometimes it's as if I get full REALLY fast. The other day I was in the middle of eating and just. did. not. want. food. I felt stuffed to the gills, but it was just breakfast. This is unlike me in many ways. It was bad at first, because I ended up only having a packet of oatmeal for lunch the first day, it gave me a headache I think from not eating enough.

Fertility effects:

•  Started taking on March 1st exactly! So, as of today have been taking it 19 days. This is actually enlightening because I'd assumed that my reaction last period was due to starting the Royal Jelly, but according to this it was started AFTER my last AF started...hmmm.
• Anyway, from observation it appears that I have had more emotional TWW, but back to a 9 day LP >p Only really spotted one day before, it seems I will have to trade one for another. It seems that my regular PMS symptoms have been magnified/altered slightly.

Really though, I'm not sure what I can attribute to the Royal Jelly. It certainly hasn't extended my LP at all. What I'm noticing now seems to be what happened my last cycle. And it sucks. Because what is happening as that I have slight TWW symptoms and then the 1st day or two of my AF I get super-duper preggo symptoms. Today, we went to Pike Place Market and we were having a good time, but I started to get queasy, dizzy, and tired. And my BBs are KILLING me. Like, they didn't hurt this much since I was pregnant. But if this is to follow last cycle, I was most definitely not pregnant. This is beyond frustrating. I'm definitely bleeding and even if I am somehow pregnant it is most likely a chemical. I'm not sure I want to know, because I most likely won't know the answer. I know that most cycle changes last for about 3 months or cycles. I'm hopeful that this will lead to increased fertility later, but if not I'd rather it stop because it is driving me batty!!!

ETA: I forgot to add that it seems to make my pee BRIGHT YELLOW. I mean neon. At least it's not orange. Also, at some point I liked the effects of the non-fertility benefits so much I increased to 2 capsules a day. Definitely tooo much. I started feeling itchy in my ears and pelvic area....as I said, I have no knowledge of allergies to bees, but I will definitely not be taking more than one capsule (500 mg) per day. I know I should probably leave well enough alone, but the non-fertility benefits are so great I don't want to give it up. So no more than 1 capsule a day.