Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Oops! Some things I missed.

So, I was looking at the spoon provided by Bee Fertile again, and I realized that the small line around the bowl of the spoon, about a 1/4 in from the top was to mark the 1/2 tsp mark, and the full spoon marked the full 1 tsp or 5 ml. I think I mistook 5 ml as equal to 1/2 tsp. So it is an excellent tool if you want to measure 1/2 tsp OR a full tsp. I'll post a similar correction in my Began Bee Fertile post later, but my computer is being borrowed and Blogger doesn't seem to work well on iPhone for editing.

 In other related news, I've noticed some changes to this part of the cycle. I had forgotten that for me, taking Royal jelly can really stabilize my mood, at least in the 1 week between AF ending and the beginning of my LP. Having a mood disorder, I'm so used to having my moods fluctuate greatly, and often with no rhyme or reason. With the Royal Jelly, I find that my mood changes are slower to change and less extreme. Although I have noticed an overpowering sense of nostalgia; any show I watch or song I hear makes me wistful and remember with great strength of emotion and a time when I felt like that in the past. Today it has progressed to a sort of weepiness, although when I am not overcome this way I feel at peace. I don't know if it is all the Royal Jelly contributing; I know Vitex has affected my moods in the past and there are other herbs in the Bee Fertile I haven't tried before.

 Also, very strange and vivid dream last night. I had bought a strange, but bulky, electronic HPT with a screen that showed the result in a pink plus sign. I decided to try it out, and I walked away before it was finished, convinced it would be negative. When I got back, ai found a pretty pink plus sign between 2 bars like this: |+| Then of course I had to verify the BFP since it was outside of the time limit, and I got a positive on the cheapie and a FRER. I knew it was a dream when I saw the dye strobing up the HPT in waves. There was more, but not relevant to most of the dream. Today I am very tired. Also, I have had heartburn since the beginning of this AF. I thought it was a period symptom, but as it is continuing each night, I wonder if it is the Cayenne or another ingredient in Bee Fertile. Time will tell.

 Disclaimer: These supplements were provided to me at no cost, but all opinions are my own.  Believe me, I will give you the good, bad and in-between with an unvarnished eye.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

VENT!

So I was thinking about when we started TTC. After my last ECHO (which was taken when I was sick) the doc wasn't too pleased and wants to get another one. If I hadn't even opened my mouth and asked about TTC, he would have set it for 6 months and probably not mentioned anything about whether I should TTC.

BUT, I did ask, and they decided I should NOT TTC for now, and thankfully one of my doctors decided it could be moved up to November instead of 6 months from now.

My vent is that when I first decided I was going to TTC (2 years ago) I worked with ALLLLL of my doctors (in Texas) to get my health--mental and physical--ready for this. My cardiologist said that this would be the BEST time to start TTC regarding my heart. My mental health doctors even though they seemed to be against it, were willing to help me reduce my meds slowly so I could transition off of them easily once I got pregnant. However....

Not ONE of my psychiatrists in Texas mentioned any possibility that the side effects of one of my meds could make me infertile. They didn't suggest testing for it. I had to be the one to finally ask after 6-12 months of charting with no O!!!!!!!!


I will say that my current psychiatrist did mention it, but like a fool, I discounted that "it would happen to me." I was so stupid and stubborn and blind. And when I was finally convinced that it was the medication, the weather was so bad that taking me off of it could have seriously affected my mood!!!!!!


So now, when finally I'm ovulating regularly, my psych meds are perfect, MY HEART is the problem!!!!!!!! Grrrr.....****stomp****....AAARRRGGH!


I know life is unfair. I know things will happen when God plans for it, but why not now? I think the hardest part of waiting is not knowing IF I will ever get a baby. It's like, if I knew that it would happen, then it wouldn't be so hard. But that would affect my behavior right? Then I might not do what needs to happen to get that baby. See the vicious circle? It's why we mere mortals can't know our future.

Motherhood Wanted approved!

Motherhood Wanted approved!
Diana Farrell, MA

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Motherhood Wanted approved!