VENT!

So I was thinking about when we started TTC. After my last ECHO (which was taken when I was sick) the doc wasn't too pleased and wants to get another one. If I hadn't even opened my mouth and asked about TTC, he would have set it for 6 months and probably not mentioned anything about whether I should TTC.

BUT, I did ask, and they decided I should NOT TTC for now, and thankfully one of my doctors decided it could be moved up to November instead of 6 months from now.

My vent is that when I first decided I was going to TTC (2 years ago) I worked with ALLLLL of my doctors (in Texas) to get my health--mental and physical--ready for this. My cardiologist said that this would be the BEST time to start TTC regarding my heart. My mental health doctors even though they seemed to be against it, were willing to help me reduce my meds slowly so I could transition off of them easily once I got pregnant. However....

Not ONE of my psychiatrists in Texas mentioned any possibility that the side effects of one of my meds could make me infertile. They didn't suggest testing for it. I had to be the one to finally ask after 6-12 months of charting with no O!!!!!!!!


I will say that my current psychiatrist did mention it, but like a fool, I discounted that "it would happen to me." I was so stupid and stubborn and blind. And when I was finally convinced that it was the medication, the weather was so bad that taking me off of it could have seriously affected my mood!!!!!!


So now, when finally I'm ovulating regularly, my psych meds are perfect, MY HEART is the problem!!!!!!!! Grrrr.....****stomp****....AAARRRGGH!


I know life is unfair. I know things will happen when God plans for it, but why not now? I think the hardest part of waiting is not knowing IF I will ever get a baby. It's like, if I knew that it would happen, then it wouldn't be so hard. But that would affect my behavior right? Then I might not do what needs to happen to get that baby. See the vicious circle? It's why we mere mortals can't know our future.

The Journey Begins...

About 1 1/2 years ago my husband and I decided we would like to start trying to have a baby. Knowing that coming off birth control could result in a years passing before success we knew there would be a wait. So now it has been over a year and nothing. I have been using the Family Awareness Method of charting to track my ovulation and herein lies the problem. I'm just not ovulating. And without that, it's quite impossible to get pregnant. After some testing I discovered that my anti-psychotic I am on has caused my prolactin levels to be slightly elevated and the end result can be no ovulation.

I am begging my doctor to take me off this medication and now that the weather is getting warmer he finally is willing to do so. I'm a bit nervous because the last time I went off this medication had awful results on my moods, however, this doctor gave me an alternative medication I have been taking for many months to prepare me for going off of the other.

On a side note, I have recently started a new diet and am now slowly losing some weight. Miraculously, after 6 months of no periods, my period has returned on a regular basis, hamdallah. I am quite overweight so it is very possible that the weight loss has triggered a balancing of my hormones. I have started temping again but due to a faulty thermometer battery I may have missed a definitive ovulation. My chart had looked like I had ovulated but wasn't confirmed. At that point my battery failed just when it may have confirmed that I had ovulated.

So, no confirmation yet, but I remain hopeful that with continued weight loss I will start ovulating again and hopefully achieve pregnancy!

I welcome you to join me on my journey.