Thursday, February 7, 2013

Dream a little dream of me....

Last night I had a vivid, amazing dream. I dreamt that I was giving birth (thankfully did not dream any of the pain). I had a beautiful baby boy. It hurt to look at him, he was so beautiful. At some point, my SIL commented on the fact they were letting me out really soon. I laughed and explained that I had really stayed longer, and explained the usually time frame for vaginal birth vs. caesarean birth. Then I pointed out that SIL 2 was long in the hospital due to having a fever.   I can't recall why I was there longer than the 1/3 days, and I can't recall if I had a vaginal/caesarean delivery.

For some reason we decided to name him Killian (sorry, Summer!).  Then sometime into the dream I realized a friend had named her boy that and started to change my mind. Well, next part of the dream, for some reason my husband had to go home ahead of me, and I was struggling with the baby seat. The baby was in the seat already, and I was trying to fasten it in the backseat, but it appeared to be larger than the seat as the bottom was hanging off the edge. I still remember this powerful feeling of love when looking at the baby.

Then this is where dreams get weird like they do. Some sort of magical power/alien force was taking over.  Somehow it was eliminating children. My baby was taken, but not yet gone, and I was trying my best to save him. I remember the adults were trying to get on the invading forces good side so that they wouldn't be eliminated either, but I was having difficulty as my main knowledge/skills pertained to children, and since the children were taken/dead, my skills were meaningless. I was trying to cover in a different way, so they wouldn't get rid of me either.  (We watched Once Upon A Time right before bed).

As weird as the end of the dream was, I still remember that overwhelming love and joy that I felt when looking at my baby in the dream. It was so powerful, it is hard to feel sad that it was just a dream.  I'm trying to record my dreams more often, because I often have deja vu that reminds me of something I dreamt. I'm hoping I might be able to prove it if I get this deja vu again. 

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Motherhood Wanted approved!

Motherhood Wanted approved!
Diana Farrell, MA


Motherhood Wanted approved!