My first cycle on Bee Fertile

So, yesterday, AF showed, making my nephew's 1st birthday CD1. *sigh* Anyhow, time to analyze my first cycle on Bee Fertile!  So, overall, I would say that my PMS symptoms after O were more stable and increased intensity.

Previous cycles, a symptom like, tender breasts would be very tender one day, less tender the next, and then increase in intensity.

Waiting for true IPS to begin...

Well, since hCG isn't produced until AFTER implantation is complete (which can take up to a day or two) it really makes little sense to pay attention to symptoms until that window starts right?

Which is one reason I've been discounting most of my symptoms up til now. Depending on which book/site/doctor you consult, implantation can happen anywhere from 6-12 DPO. So, all of my symptoms up til now have really just been my regular PMS.

So far I have had:

• Backache
• Sore BBs (sides, nips, kind of burning/itching on whole area at times)
• Headaches
• Fatigue--been worsening since O...now it is pretty constant but increases after 5PM
• Some moodiness/weepiness--but nowhere near as bad as in the past.
• Weird pain in pelvis--mostly dull cramps or cervix pain, but have also started getting a yeast infection---started Yeast Gard to circumvent
• Frequent urination--not as bad as last time, but cannot hold forever

That's about all...seems the usual list I get. So TODAY is now 6DPO, so I'm entering the beginning period when implantation may occur. So I'm on the lookout for some Implantation signs.

When I woke this morning, I had a HUGE temp dip. I did take my temp 2 hours early (again to pee!) BUT even adjusted it was 98.03, which is now below coverline. Part of the issue may be that it was daylight savings time last night (jump forward--lost an hour) so that accounts for some of the dip, maybe all of it. But potential implantation dip? Looking at my last preggo chart, other than my fall-back rise (which was also at 3 DPO) I didn't have a significant dip until 8DPO and was able to get a faint positive 4 days later at 12DPO using tests at about 25 mIU sensitivity.

To further complicate matters, my 10 mIU tests just arrived from Early Pregnancy Tests.com. OMG! Sometimes I wish Early Pregnancy Tests.com weren't so fast!  Them being so sensitive I reason they could catch a BFP as early as 8DPO...I must wait until Thursday to test (10DPO). Maybe if I don't open the package...

IPS (Imaginary Pregnancy Symptoms) from hell!!!!!

Well, I've been a bit silent since my 6DPO post due to two things:

1. DH was freaking out (again) over how much I share on the 'net. Admittedly, if WE are pregnant it will be joint effort although I will do much of the incubating and he should have a say in when and how it is revealed.
2. I had no friggin' clue what my cycle was doing!!

If symptoms could truly confirm pregnancy, I would have had my BFP. I had of course tested early on Valentine's Day (8DPO) as the POAS addict that I am. I delayed testing again until 11 DPO (it is amazing the effect of spending extra moolah on the tests has on your willpower!). Mostly with FRER, but at first had the CBE digi HPT. Anyhoo, still BFNs. By 12-14DPO I had been spotting for--no lie--6 days. Wasn't sure what to call it. I was giving up.

THEN, driving home from the GI doc, INTENSE nausea that did not diminish much after a bowel movement. Also, from that day on (and still) I've had intense sense of smell. Changed my sense of taste a bit too. This gave me hope. These were two symptoms I had my last pregnancy (a bit early on the nausea, but I wasn't really near vomiting, REALLY).

Still no BFP on my home preggo tests. If you remember, I was due to have another Cardiac MRI on Friday. I wasn't sure if the MRI itself was dangerous, but I was pretty sure the contrast dye they used was not so helpful. To give it extra time, I called and moved it again. This time I asked the lab advice on possible pregnancy. They advised a beta and they would not do the test. When I called the Heart Dr.'s office, they said though that it shouldn't prohibit the WHOLE test, but just to have no contrast. We were having a lot of snow that week, so I kept that changed appt time. 

So, THIS Friday (March 4th), I'll be finally heading in for this Cardiac MRI. I'm 98% certain I ain't preggo. (always a little doubt when TTCing, right?). I am still at a loss for my intensified symptoms. Not only have I had continued increased sense of smell (despite a stuffy nose!), my temps have been wavering around my coverline, breasts have had a different level of tenderness, and slight dizzy spells. Backaches were increasing too, but that could be me missing the chiropractor due to snow. 

At some point I just wondered if taking Vitex (Chasteberry) for just a week had some sort of impact. ALSO, when I started gaining hope I decided to help it out by taking some progesterone cream. I think I took too much and this is the true culprit of my "symptoms".

Ah well, if I can get this Cardiac MRI done then maybe I can find out what is happening there, if needed change meds and really jump on the TTC bandwagon!

Implantation or AF??

So, yesterday my temp dropped down to coverline and I told myself not to worry, because it's just one low temp. Today, my temp is now almost down to where it was when I O'd.

I decided to actually check my CP and CM today. My CP is low, medium and open. I couldn't really tell about the CM because we DTD last night, so I'm thinking it's semen. However, there was bright red spotting.

I'm having a bad feeling that AF is on her way. I'm having cramps, but I've BEEN having cramps b/c of my UTI or whatever urinary thing I have.

Also, my nips are KILLING me...just throbbing and painful. Also, I've been having somewhat pronounced veins, but this morning I even saw veins in my left bb (which is much larger than my right bb). And now the sides of my bb are sore....that's NEVER happened. My underarms are sore too.

I just don't think I'd see an INCREASE in symptoms if AF was coming right? I know she's a right evil witch, but really? I also think since my cervix is lower and we DTD that maybe the spotting is cervix irritation?

Plus, I haven't O'd so I have NO idea what my LP is. I really don't want the problem of a short LP. 9DPO is waaaay too short.

Please God, let this be implantation or at least just an estrogen surge and let my LP be longer!!

Restless night

Ugh...I got NO sleep last night, so I wasn't able to take my temp today. But 5 days of elevated temps! I'm really starting to believe that I have ovulated. For reals.

I have a mild UTI right now, so a lot of my IPS "symptoms" are really the UTI...like frequent urination, pelvic cramping, etc.

But in addition to that I've been having fatigue since Sunday and today my veins are really and truly pronounced. I noticed BEFORE I showered and thought perhaps that was just because I had been very hot in bed.  But then I decided I would look again a little after the shower (because they're usually pronounced after showers) and they're still very dark. Especially on my right side, whatever that means.

I ordered a bunch of HPTs in the mail that were sent Friday so I may check the mail later to see if I got them in. We'll see.

Imaginary Pregnancy Symptoms VII

14DPO--Tested before leaving Texas this morning with Clearblue Easy Early Result Digital...BFN :( Oddly, as soon as I left for WA my symptoms started getting worse. Today a LOT of increased saliva, nipples more sore than this weekend, a little itchy, and tender breasts above armpits. Had a sleepless night, but don't know if the fatigue is based on that, or travelling or what. Also, bleeding gums, slight metallic taste in mouth.

Imaginary Pregnancy Symptoms VII

Sorry, I flew to Texas on Friday, haven't exactly had access to a computer when I want it.

So Friday (11DPO)--BFN, still having burning glands, especially in breasts next to armpits, exhaustion, sharp pains in stomach, constipation/diarrhea, and some others, but I don't think I felt it much due to traveling.

Saturday 12DPO--BFN (on a FRER) and starting to despair. Suddenly my symptoms are abandoning me. I sometimes will get sore gums, sometimes I'll also get excessive salivation, usually need to go to bed earlier. But not as strong or frequently. My "I just feel pregnant" mood seems to be dying.

Sunday 12DPO--BFN (on FRER) DH had to kick me out of bed at noon and was still really tired. I had gone to bed at 11PM also, so that's at least 12 hours sleep. Energy ok, but an undercurrent of tiredness. Still sore nipples (but only vaguely) and sore breasts near underarms. Also, constipation, dull pains in stomach on both sides, very hungry but get full very quickly. Have this sense of fullness too. Sore gums have returned...only vaguely painful but definitely constant. My mood has changed to sometimes still thinking I *could* be pregnant and other times feeling like I'm out this month.

But that's okay, because my doctor FINALLY took me off of my anti-psychotic! So, inshallah, we'll have a good strong ovulation in June that we can time BD around.

Imaginary Pregnancy Symptoms V

10DPO--Okay, so I cracked and I tested this morning because yesterdays developments were so promising. Still a BFN :(
But this morning, some more promising symptoms. I'm tired because I forced myself to stay up until 11:30. This morning I was ravenously hungry, I'm feeling a little dizzy/shaky, and the glands in my breasts next to my armpits are burning/throbbing. After my BFN I was a little down, but now I'm totally back to my certainty that I am preggers, it is just that my tests aren't showing it yet. The armpit thing is starting to hurt actually. I think when I go pick up my Rx at the pharmacy I'm going to buy whatever pregnancy tests are on sale (unless it's the blue dye ones, yuck). If there isn't a good deal on a good one I might just get the creme de la creme, First Response Early Result (FRER).  Wish me luck and I'll keep you posted.

**UPDATE*** All day I was shaky/dizzy, especially if I walked to fast. I left work early sick because I was feeling too icky. My glands all over my body are on fire, the ones under my arms (next to breasts) are the worst, I feel them all day, sometimes quite painfully. Throughout the day I would feel burning in glands all over my body, predominately neck and arms, late at night sharper pains in abdomen, but I really think though it was glands deep down, because they had the same burning feeling. I seem to have food aversion...but mostly meat...I really LOVED the grilled cheese pita and I ate the salad but mostly because I should. But even though I'm super hungry I feel full really quickly.

Imaginary Pregnancy Symptoms Part IV

9DPO--FF now says that 13% of women report positive HPTs at this stage. Great, AFTER I peed. But I told myself to wait until Friday. Maybe. If FF reports 25% or more on Thursday I might try another O test. I'm using those because I only have six HPTs left and so I don't mind wasting an O test so early (because it is unlikely I'll see a positive anyway even if I am preggers) Go to Peeonastick.com to see their research on how to use an OPK as an HPT Just perused this and now it says OPKs aren't as sensitive as HPTs...Oh great, I could have been positive and the OPK wouldn't have sensed it!

So to the symptoms! I just got up, so slight headache, a little bit of a sore throat and I'm going to say frequent urination because last few days, every morning I wake up my bladder is SUPER full, so much that it is painful. Also, for yesterday I went to bed at 11PM very tired. I probably could have gone to bed earlier, but didn't feel tired until 11PM. Also, this morning, really randomly emotional again. I was listening to my Glee Soundtrack (hee!) and when I was listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart, I was really getting into it and I started crying. Even on the way to work I was singing some of it and I started crying again. I'm not usually this tearful.

So throughout the day gassy, sometimes crampy, sore throat, cough, and stuffy/runny nose. I was worried about the cough because I thought that wasn't commonly listed, however a lot of women believe that they have a cold/flu but are really pregnant.

Well, I came home and did TWO HPTs. I did one IC (Internet Cheapie) but it had a weird mark right where the test line is, so I decided to do a digi in case it is invalid. Came up NOT PREGNANT :( But that's ok, I'm only 9DPO so I still could be.

Well today the fatigue set in around 1:15 as I was going to my psychiatrist appointment. I told him about my symptoms and he seemed optimistic. He asked what I wanted and I said I wanted to stop the anti-psychotic all together. Because if I'm pregnant, I need to stop it anyway. If I'm NOT pregnant, this will ensure that I ovulate more regularly.

I went for a walk with a friend and after I came home I had to put on some cream and the veins in my BBs were SOOO dark. Not as dark as I'd like, but I've been monitoring them and before I had to look for them and today I could SEE them with no problem.

Also, I started feeling REALLY tired. Like I could take a nap, no problem and when I was walking I was feeling very dizzy. I thought it could be because of walking in the mall, because I've had an issue over the holidays where I would feel closed in or dizzy while I was at the mall.

Also, excess saliva and my nipples now are sore without my touching them. They feel both bruised and burning, like they're on fire, and sometime itchy. And I don't know if it is possible to already have pregnancy brain but I'm having a hard time finding words or completing sentences. My attention just drifts. Still slightly emotional.

I almost want to test tomorrow...I think I'll try to hold out till Friday though and then test every day until Monday/BFP/AF....whichever comes first. And if no BFP/AF I suppose I'll have to buy more HPTs! Maybe the good digis will be on sale again!

Imaginary Pregnancy Symptoms Part III

Ok, so I thought I'd just keep a running list here and add to it throughout the day so that I don't forget anything.

8DPO--Gassy throughout the day, ok as far as energy early on, but started to have onset of fatigue around 3:30PM-4:00PM. Woke up with stuffy nose, sore throat and had a headache by the time I reached work. After lunch some stomach upset, but nothing major. This morning had a yucky taste in my mouth and by 3PM started having excessive salivation. Also a sore throat in the morning, needed  a cough drop to sooth. Around 3PM sore throat started coming back and had a runny nose. Feeling a lot of sinus pressure. Continued to have sore nips, sometimes they feel sort of burning pain, like they are very mildly sunburnt. I also have mild nausea...really more of an upset stomach but for no reason. I'd understand if I overate or if I had some fried food but it's just a burning in the pit of my stomach. By the afternoon had a breakout of about 4 pimples but over the weekend DH commented on how nice my skin looked.

Imaginary Pregnancy Symptoms Part II

So, fiddling with the tuning on my FF still gives me crosshairs.  Over the weekend I have had some additional IPS.  Saturday and Sunday (5 & 6 DPO) I started having a lot of fatigue. In addition, sore bb, cramps, frequent urination, headache, dizziness, sore gums, slight metallic taste, and heartburn. Also, on 6DPO when I went to bed (at midnight) I felt as scraping sort of cramp in my uterus (like getting a pap). Also very emotional. It was different from my usual tww. Usually I'm Superbitch, just really irritable lots of mood swings. This time, I'm just sad and I cry at random things sometimes. I had a breakdown Sunday, DH and I were just playing/wrestling and I just suddenly start crying. He didn't know what happened and I just kept saying "I'm so stupid." I had just had a dip in my chart that removed my CH and I was so disappointed because I just KNEW I was pregnant. I felt like an idiot for believing it when I wasn't.

Today (7 DPO) started getting a sore throat, headache and possible nasal drainage/some sinus pressure. Also a bit gassy, today gums much more sore and metal taste really strong, but a little bit less fatigue.
I had to go to bed by 10:15PM I was so tired.
Keep you posted! I'm very tempted to test Wednesday because I'm supposed to go see my psychiatrist and he did want me to keep him posted. Perhaps I'll have happy news or perhaps not.

Early Pregnancy Symptoms/Imaginary Pregnancy Symptoms

There's a fine line between early pregnancy symptoms (EPS) and imaginary pregnancy symptoms (IPS). And that line is the test line on your pregnancy tests. Yes, nature is cruel, and often the same (or similar) symptoms a woman experiences prior to her period are the same as symptoms prior to pregnancy. Especially for a TTCer who as she starts the 2WW (two week wait) is susceptible to slight changes in her body.

With that said, for my first official 2WW I'm going to present a list of my EPS/IPS by DPO:

DPO2-3:
  --Random itching of my body. At first I just noticed it on the back of my arm behind my arm-pit, the inside of my arm near my wrist and my scalp.    
  --Slightly more frequent urination but I wasn't sure if that was because I started drinking more water (but not more than I used to before two weeks ago)
DPO3:
  --I also started to notice at 3PM a distinct metallic taste in my mouth. Kind of like I sucked on a quarter and had taken it out a full minute...not super strong, but definitely a metallic taste.
  --Also had the itching in the same areas.
  --Around 10:30PM I suddenly noticed sore gums. I reached for the floss, but realized it was ALL of my gums, not just around a certain tooth. I flossed anyway and they bled a little.
  --Still slightly more frequent urination.
DPO4:
  --Continued itching in random places, with an increase in itching. I am now itching (at different times) inside my ears, sides of my fingers, palms, toes, soles of feet, small parts of legs, waist, back, parts of breast, back of armpit, and parts of my face including my nostrils and inside corners of my eyes (something about the orifices it seems). Now my upper lip, eyebrows, and neck.
  --This morning my gums bled when I brushed my teeth and they are still sore.
  --Metallic taste continues, though slightly less in the afternoon.
  --Slightly more frequent urination. I usually only have to urinate about 4 times a day at work, and now it's just about every hour. Sometimes I have to hold it if there is a group, but if it gets bad enough I'll use the client bathroom.
  --Starting to have very slightly sore nips. More like they are bruised?
  --The coup de grace! Spotting on my toilet paper when I came home. I have been thinking that this is all INSANELY early to be having this degree of symptoms and what seems (to me) to be severe. Then I thought, "wouldn't you know I'd have implantation spotting today too" My eyes nearly bugged out when I saw that red on the toilet paper!

**Update** After dinner I'm starting to feel a little more tired than normal (it's only 9PM) and I don't know WHAT I am smelling. Some subtle chemical smell...I really just wish I could recognize what the smell is...**end**

That's where I am for now. I leave for Texas In a week. I am going to test Friday morning (5/28) unless FF has moved/removed my crosshairs or AF shows. Memorial Day will be 14 DPO, but I don't know if I want to wait until then...it'd be kind of nice if it were positive before I left and I could decide how to tell my family. I was really wanting to wait to tell them but it would be SO great to get to tell them in person as they live a whole 2,000 miles away or something. And I know you read this sometimes Mom, but I don't know how often so don't worry and don't say anything to anyone because it's just as likely that I'm not and I'm just finally having enough progesterone in my system to give me different PMS symptoms.


But maybe not. And that's what get's me. And I now FULLY understand those POAS-aholics on the forums....I know 4DPO would be INSANELY early to get a positive on an HPT (though I did see a girl with a positive at 5DPO) I have so many HPTs that I'm telling myself I could just go through one a day until Friday and STILL have some leftover. I think, it's been awhile since I counted them.

The wait begins...