Returning to fertility after the Depo Provera shot

So, I knew that Depo Provera injection for birth control had its risks. Not just the range of severe side effects (weight gain, breast tenderness, moodiness, bloating, IBS effects, etc) but the fact it can take twice as long as other types of birth control to return to ovulation and fertility. At the time, it seemed an acceptable option as I was looking at the recommendation (or some might call it strong-arming) of the crack perinatologist team that wanted me to get a tubal ligation.

Now that I have the amazing news from my cardiologist that he supports my efforts to TTC, I’m researching what it means to attempt pregnancy after Depo Provera. From most information I read, the minimum time to return to fertility after Depo Provera may be 55 days (about 2 months) but most agree that the expected time would be around 6 months. See Web MD Blog and Society for Menstrual CycleResearch  (See Justisse Method: Fertility Awareness and Body Literacy A User's Guide (Volume 1) for their take on Natural Family Planning)

Based on most information, since Depo Provera works two ways to prevent pregnancy, thickening the cervical fluid and thinning the lining of the uterus. See this BabyMed.com article.

Ovulation anyone?: My first ovulation after Bee Fertile regimen

So, this cycle is dramatically different than the last few since taking Bee Fertile. I'm fairly sure I have already ovulated or am about to. And dear readers, as you know I love to make lists, so get ready.

•  I got my first High on my CBEFM on Thursday, so I'm fairly certain I am at my Peak this weekend. I wasn't able to continue my CBEFM, so I can't say what it would've measured. 
• Also, have had a lot of EWCM lately. 
• Seriously high sense of smell. But like usual it comes and goes.
• I also have an increased sense of taste to go along with that. Some things taste awful that I know I like. 
• Frequent need to urinate--I don't know if I am drinking more liquid and how this connects to it, but I get the familiar feeling of needing to more often.
• Breast Tenderness--mostly nipples, sometimes the sides. This has been coming on since Monday or Tuesday. It's much stronger than it has been in the anovulatory cycles.
• Fatigue/Trouble sleeping--I put these together because I don't know if the fatigue is due to the trouble sleeping or exacerbated by it. I've had at least 2-3 nights this week of difficulty falling asleep, waking early, or restless sleep. 
• Bloating in the last two days.
• I had a high temp yesterday, but I discarded it because I woke really early and had restless sleep.

These are classic ovulation signs for me; I don't know if they are so strong now due to not ovulating lately, or some changes in my hormone levels due to the Bee Fertile. I guess we'll wait and see!

Peak Day on CBEFM!!!

Well, today is it! My Peak Reading Day on CBEFM! My temp also jumped up to 98.0.....which makes me wonder if O was yesterdary, but that's hardly possible as the CBEFM is rarely wrong on these things. I did start a wee bit late on the test sticks, but I don't think it was late enough to have that much of a miscalculation. ALTHOUGH, with last cycle being super crazy, I did delay setting my CBEFM and my FF CD is off of each other.

So, today, I woke up and tested with certainty that today was Peak Day. And sure enough, there it was! It's strange feeling of certainty I feel. Almost certainty that not only have I O'd, but THIS is it. I'm going to get my BFP.

I really hate this certainty because it's much too early to be certain of the end result. Because that certainty has betrayed me before....even as recently last cycle. And not to rationalize, but last cycle I was reacting to symptoms in an almost manic surety. It's the thought that "these symptoms are so STRONG or UNIQUE (insert whatever) that I MUST be pregnant" Had a sense of nervousness, because it seemed as the knowledge was hanging on a thread that could snap any moment.

But now, even though I have almost NOTHING to go on I have this unshakeable certainty. Even though I don't want it because of disappointment that will be lurking around the corner it's not going away! I only hope it turns out genuine.

I guess we'll see in about two weeks....

O date changed

Well, since my "false O" my temps have been around my pre-O temps. I had an OPK on CD15 that was so close to being positive, but I was unable to test the next three days so I'm not sure if I O'd or not. My temps have jumped a little but dropped again today. But since Thursday my nips have been painful to the touch, in addition to sore sides. And today the nips hurt even w/o touching them. Which leads me to think I have already O'd.

My Clearblue Easy Monitor is no help at all. It keeps reporting low. But, if I enter raised temps for the next three days it says today is O day. Which would match my CP and CM...I think I'm going to jump DH tonight and quit waiting!

It just makes no sense!!!!

Ok, I know logically that those temps were likely fever temps and not related to O. I also know that if you somewhat disregard my chart before, oh, CD19 that it looks like the perfect O chart. Nice steady rise after a low dip. Also my CM and CP info more closely correlates.

But, I haven't often experienced mittleschmerz, but what I know about it is

1. It usually occurs BEFORE a woman ovulates
2. It last 2 days max...I think most information I read says it lasts for a few hours at most.

My frustration comes from having almost daily ovary pain (mostly on the left) for the last three days. I don't notice it ALL of the time, but especially at night. It just doesn't make sense. Plus, isn't most O spotting BEFORE O too? Why would I have O spotting after O??

This is just my mind messing with me giving me that kernel of hope that I am 8DPO and that this is some kind of implantation feeling and the bleeding was implantation spotting...and so on and so forth.

I know I'm supposed to be waiting. I know it's a crazy dream. But I also know I'll be slightly disappointed when AF shows this month.

Now I'm 8DPO?

So, I was fiddling around with my FF chart yesterday. I decided to remove the "fever" on my two 99 degree temps last week. I did this because FF gave me a note that it believes I had ovulated sometime between CD10 and CD18, but there wasn't enough info to determine. So here was my chart before, when fever was added:

And here is my chart now without fever checked on the high temps:

The issue is that the BDing we did on CD11 was sort of a surprise so I didn't use contraception. So now there is a possibility that I could be pregnant this cycle!!! Oops!

Who knows really? Today I entered a temp of 98.5 (you can see both charts by clicking the tickers above) so it could be possible that I ovulated on CD19. Which would be fine b/c I used protection during that BD session. I just altered FF to put the fever temps back and now it changed my O date to CD19!!

I think this is much more likely because I was sick with the flu those two days I had the 99 temps. Later in the day my temps lowered to 98 something, but who knows? So, with the new change, I most likely am NOT pregnant. It makes more sense b/c the spotting was likely due to Ovulation and I seemed to be having ovary pains the last two days or so. AND normally my breast tenderness starts a few days after I O, not a week later. Right now they're starting to get tender. So I think I'm good this month and won't end up preggers. We'll see I guess! Not that I wouldn't love a June baby, but the doctors wouldn't be too happy!

First Ovulation!!!!

Hamdallah, thank God, I have FINALLY ovulated!! My OPK was right, the next day I ovulated and the day after that my temp rose and stayed UP. Today is 3DPO meaning FF gave me SOLID red cross hairs! Yippeee!

My temp was at 98.01! And, that was at 4:50 (I woke insanely early for a bathroom trip). According to the temp adjuster it would have been 98.19 if I had taken it at 5:45!!!

Inshallah, the temp will keep going up or just simply stay up! That would be awesome!

I do not know if I want to do an IPS watch this cycle. On the one hand, it might be a good record so I can see, but I don't even know what my "usual" PMS symptoms are.

Right now I do have very sore nipples, but I commonly have that before my period. The only difference is they aren't necessarily sensitive to touch but they are just painful when I'm sitting doing nothing.

Well, I'll keep everyone posted! I am thinking of testing on Father's Day, although I'd only be 11DPO...but it'd be so great to give a positive test to DH and say, "Happy Father's Day, Daddy!" *sigh*

Tentatively thinking ovulation has occurred...

Don't want to count my eggs before they're released, but my temp went up today! I'm hoping this is a good thing.

I was attempting to change the set time for taking my temp, but think that perhaps I shouldn't do that until my next cycle starts. So I am thinking I will take my temp as close to my original wake-up time as possible.

So, likely, I'll get up take my temp and let my thermometer keep the temp for me until I wake up again later.

Hopefully my temps will continue to rise. God willing.

Ovulation anyone?

I honestly do not know what to think. CD31....last few days I have had some cramping. I was kind of hoping AF was on her way...but then my temps started to drop and I seem to be ovulating...I've had all the classic signs. High, soft cervix, what seems like EWCM (might have been seminal fluid), and the one or two times you WANT to see a temp drop (may indicate O).

So today I took an OPK...just to see...




So...it's so darn close to positive, I just cannot tell. I've heard that if half of the test line (like looking at it regular the whole left vertical half) is as dark as the control then it's positive...this one looks positive by THOSE standards.


Otherwise, maybe I will tomorrow, or perhaps I've O'd today and I will see a nice temp rise tomorrow. My evening OPK was definitely negative...although still a nice line.


But I don't really trust OPKs. Last month I had BEAUTIFUL definitely positive OPK....but then AF came 6 days later. I mean I'm grateful not to have 50+ day cycles with no O, but this is just torture. I really have little hope, but just in case if DH EVER gets home we'll DTD...he's rather late and I should be getting to bed. :(


Ah well...keep you posted...

Must do research....

I took a test today and BFN. . . but the way my temps are heading I think I may have O'd today! We'll see...I'm not very confident that my temps will go up and stay up around 98, which they'd need to to confirm O.

All of this had me thinking, I was so concentrating on just getting off of the anti-psychotic that I didn't even stop to think about how long it would take the meds to get out of my system and how long after my prolactin levels went down before I might possibly be able to O...one cycle? Two? I was hoping for right away, but now I realize this may be expecting too much.

I'm going to take time to research hyperprolactinemia and it's relation to anti-psychotics.

ETA: So, did some reading and they estimate with the stop of anti-psychotics it may take 2-3 WEEKS for prolactin levels to normalize. Hmmm. I saw the doctor last week before I left for Texas...that means it's only been a week and chances are I won't ovulate soon....well, the month is just beginning!

Why?

Well, today I had a HUGE temp drop. And because my chart was only tenuously holding on to ovulation, FF decided I had not yet ovulated.

I asked a doctor friend at work today if it is possible to PMS without ovulation. She asked a few clarifying questions and she said it could be possible to have PMS symptoms without ovulating. I didn't have time to go into specifics.

So, now I must face yet another annovulatory cycle...no spotting today, so hopefully AF will show up soon and we can get going on this next cycle!! I have now been off of the prolactin-inducing medication for about a week so let's hope by the time my period starts it will allow me to ovulate...I suppose I should set up another appointment with my OB/GYN.

Ovulation Video...last one I promise!

This is hilarious. I don't know what Centea sells, but I want it!

Ovulation Celebration Video at Early Pregnancy Tests.com

OMG! I just saw this and had to share. It kind of lags on the chorus but the verses are hi-lar-ious! Also, the flying BBT and the FertilAid ridden like a bull crack me up! This is a very funny ad for TTC products at www.early-pregnancy-tests.com

The Silver Lining

So....my fertility signs have been super confusing. After my positive OPK, I have had a continually high cervix and sore nips. CM stayed kind of wet but mostly creamy/sticky.  And my temps have not been cooperating at all.

Today looks like it might be the nail in the coffin....Spotting. When I checked my cervix I had brownish and very red spotting. Also a HUGE temp drop. If I DID O when my OPK said I did, I would only be 6DPO. In desperation I can hope that this is implantation. But my heart tells me this is it...AF is sending her calling card and I will start another cycle.

The silver lining to this is now I get to start using the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor! It's odd that I was kind of hoping not to be pregnant so I could use a device that will help me get pregnant. But the little bit of hope in me is going to wait for Full Red Flow before I start cycle CD1 on either fertility Friend OR the CBEFM.

The Waiting Game

So, did I O? Did I not O? Only time (and temps) will tell. My temps have been less than cooperative. Any day I keep looking for that spike to confirm the production of progesterone signaling the beginning of the two week wait. This might be worse than the two week wait. I feel like I've been "waiting to O" for over a year now and even with an instrument that predicts O I'm NOT O'ing. *sigh*

If we look at the two teams--O team and Not O team they're fairly evenly matched. On the O team they have a positive OPK while very encouraging is not infallible. Also, I've been having major mood swings (poor DH), and increasingly sore bbs (they also feel heavy). Plus around the day of my positive OPK I just *know* I was having mittleschmerz (O pain) on my left side.

On the Not O team there is basically my temps. I am in a love/hate relationship with temping because I love that I have a tool that can generally tell me whether ovulation has occurred. It's a scientific fact that a rise in progesterone corresponds with a rise in waking temperature. I hate temping because although I know I have this big barrier to my O I still get my hopes raised when I see the random high temp. All temping gives me is a basic anovulatory chart. Boo. since my OPK my temps have more or less stayed the same or gone DOWN. I was hoping yesterdays was an Ovulation Dip, however, today's temp only rose .09 degrees. WTF? That's not even close to the type of rise needed to confirm O.

I just looked up in my fertility bible, Taking Charge of Your Own Fertility by Toni Weschler, that a slow rise is confirmed by a temp that is one-tenth above the previous six low temps and then continues to rise a tenth of a degree. Sadly, my chart is not even that.

My one positive thought is that the day of my positive OPK I had forgotten to take my anti-psychotic the night before. I know it may not necessarily be related to that but if just ONE day without it (at such a low dose) could help the LH to surge then I'm much more confident that when I'm am off the med altogether I will be SURE to achieve ovulation. Also, my psychiatrist felt much more confident that the anti-psychotic was causing elevated levels of prolactin because just two weeks at a half-dose radically changed my sleeping patterns.

*sigh* I think no more of this today. No more forums (for now) instead I think I'll finish The Amazing Race and watch my episode of Biggest Loser!

Possible O!! **Updated**

OMG! I was having lots of high fertility signs (watery CM, VERY high, soft cervix) and so Saturday I knew I had just ONE O-test left in the house. I decided to test it and when I looked at it it was SO close to positive I wasn't sure if it was or not.

Here's a pic:

The test line (on the right) is just a shade lighter than the control line. I had stopped testing because around CD29 the test showed almost no test line and I thought I was a bust for this cycle. Then I started to take Fertility Blend and having high fertility signs.  I even felt O pain yesterday, on my left side!

I would have tested again around 8PM, but we were going over to see some friends. After we got home, it was kinda late (11:40PM) but I tested anyway with some O-tests I bought at Walgreens. It was negative, but I did have somewhat diluted urine and it was late in the day. The test instructions usually say not to test after 10PM.

I think before we go out to the pet store I'll see if I can test again.  Looking at my chart I had a HUGE dip about 3 days ago and have had a steady increase back up to baseline today. I'm keeping fingerscrossed that the temp keeps rising. Though I think since I still have very wet CM, O pains yesterday, and so on that perhaps I am O'ing today. We'll see. Click the banner above with the butterfly to view my chart and take the ovulation poll!

I'll keep you posted with new developments!

**Update**  So I did another test today and I got a positive! I labeled it wrong, it's supposed to be CD36 instead of CD35

But that's a beautiful positive! I can't believe it but now I am finally in the

Hope Springs Eternal

I just had an appointment with my psychiatrist after starting to cut my anti-psychotic in half.  I told him how it has been messing with my sleep as I am now taking less and that I generally wake around 3-5am most mornings. I even have had one or two very sleepless nights.

He stated that I could take Melatonin to aid sleep and it wouldn't interfere with my other medications, which makes me happy because it works really well for me without giving me a hangover.

The most gratifying thing that he said was that because taking a lower dose of anti-psychotic has really affected my sleep he definitely believes the risperdal was the source of my elevated prolactin levels! This excites me because my OB/GYN said all of my other hormone levels seemed normal and thinks that this may be the only thing preventing me from ovulating.

One thing my psychiatrist did suggest that I think I might look into is to have my adrenal glands tested. I have read that a lot of weight problems can be caused by overactive adrenal glands--which produce cortisol and adrenaline.  He suggested that this could be the cause of my weight problems.

I think I might do some research on this further. I'm very excited for this next cycle because he said that I could stop the anti-psychotic altogether in 3 weeks!

Another restless morning

Ever since I started cutting my anti-psychotic in half I usually find myself awake anywhere from 3-5am. Not every morning, but enough to notice a difference and I never had trouble sleeping through the night before. I wonder if it will affect my temperatures. I usually try to stay in bed until my alarm goes off but this morning I was so hot and sweaty that I decided to take my temp an hour early and go ahead and get up. I wish I were in bed asleep right now because I'm still quite tired, but it just wasn't happening.

The weird thing is that for so early my temp was a bit higher than normal (97.90). Yesterdays OPK was completely negative, however, I did notice my sample was more diluted than it has been the last few days. Still, I got zero test line and I think that if I had ovulated yesterday there would have been SOMETHING even with a diluted sample. So I feel this higher temp today is just a fluke unless by some miracle I'm ovulating today.

A lot of my other fertility signs are pointing towards it. Lately my cervix has been so high I can't reach it so I can't evaluate the texture and my CM has been odd. It has a very lubricative feeling, but most of what I pull looks sticky more than anything, so I've been putting creamy.

I just don't know what to think about my body because I get a sign like a super-high cervix, but negligible CM. Yet still no positive OPK (barely even close) and temps all over the place. Looks like I'm back on my anovulatory cycles. I had such hope because for at least two cycles in a row I had 28-30 day cycles on their own with no help. That was when I was on the calorie-shifting diet and had lost some weight. I have to wonder if there is something about a higher protein diet that is more regular.

I must try using the diet generator for it again. I can't be depended on to eat according to the diet when I have too much control over what I eat and it was working. Plus, there was this diet program we were set to start, a holistic program, but there is a problem with the way WA state licenses it so the owner is having to decide if she can stay and run it or not.

I'm not sure how many days to give AF before she shows. I did just get the ClearPlan Fertility Monitor from my friend at work and have ordered the test sticks so I may just wait to use the progesterone to start AF until after they show up so I can reset the monitor.  I even ordered about 3 expired sticks to use for resetting so I don't waste a good stick from the new package.

In reviewing the prices online for the sticks I really do think Amazon is the  best price for sticks within the expiration date. There were a lot of them going for about $20 or less on eBay, but the expiration date couldn't be guaranteed and I wouldn't want to chance it.

I really wish I could call in sick today and just try to get some more rest, but it is so hard to try and reschedule clients and my schedule is out so far anyway that I think that I shouldn't call in just because I'm feeling poorly. I suppose I could go back to bed and try to get some rest and come in an hour late. Then do some work from home on Wednesday. I think I'll just shower and go in because even now I'm still hot and sweaty.

I think I need to really watch the caffeine. I had two sodas yesterday. I only intended to have one but my husband served me one for dinner and I wanted it so I drank it anyway. I think at the very least I'm going to say no soda after 5PM and see if that helps with my sleep at all because I'm very sensitive to caffeine. Too much a day or after a certain hour messed with my sleep before and it certainly will now. I guess it will have to be the price I pay for going off the medicine. I wonder if I should start taking Melatonin on a regular basis just to see if it will help me sleep through the night.

We'll see what tomorrow night brings

Don't think O will come this cycle...but who knows?

Well, my OPKs keep getting lighter and I don't believe I ever had a positive one.

Here are the ones from yesterday and today

I don't really know what to think because today's looks slightly darker. I do think I wasn't holding my urine for a complete 4 hours before yesterdays test.

I have gotten very sad today because I let myself get my hopes up that I was really O'ing, on my own. But, I'm running out of OPKs and am not sure I want to order more. This is what I hate about OPKs because regardless of how cheap they are I feel I am just throwing my money down the toilet (literally) because they never work for me. Which is more depressing because the reason they aren't working is because I'm not ovulating.

All the same, I feel like today's OPK gives me a smidgen of hope. I think I might find my local Dollar Tree and see if they have any New Choice OPKs in stock. I heard recently you can get them there and I figured I'd test them out until I decide if I want to get more while I wait for my friend to deliver the fertility monitor she promised.

Just a temporary moment of hopelessness but I think it will pass. Nothing a POAS addiction won't cure ;)

O may be coming!!

So, I was disappointed a few days ago by a dip in my temperatures after a huge temp spike.  I decided to carry on with my Ovulation Test Strips or OPKs.

For most of the time I kept seeing this:

As you can see, the test line (on the left) is barely there.

Last night though, my OPKs started to look like this:

There's a weird marring on the test, but I don't think it's invalid.

And here is this morning's test:

It looks slightly lighter than last nights. Note the test line (on the left) is not the same color as the control so it is not yet positive, but the fact that the test line is getting darker is a good sign!

Also, I am observing my other fertility signs, the primary of which is cervical fluid (or mucus) and the secondary is cervix position. I noticed yesterday and the day before my CM has become increasingly more watery. This is good as this and EWCM (egg-white CM) are the most fertile.

Also, I observe a secondary fertility sign, my cervix position (CP). Today my CP was very high and medium consistency and the opening was about medium open.  So this is also a great sign. When it is high, soft, and open I should be at maximum fertility!

Fertility Friend states that I am at my most fertile right now.  So it's time to get in some BD (baby-dancing ; ) to try and catch the egg.

I'm just so excited that I *might* be O'ing! Will keep you posted with updated pics later.