First, I want to thank everyone for their lovely comments in my last post. I'm still absorbing a lot of this and ignoring it most of the time. But I needed to get some thoughts out.
Since my docs told me with finality that I cannot carry a pregnancy, I've had varying emotions. Most of the time I can manage to not think about it, but the last few days...if I'm not "busy" I sometimes feel this suffocating despair---usually I am able to keep it at bay, but it just leaves me feeling numb. I can't really feel, because if I feel, I will feel too much.